If you want to annoy your friends and co-workers, reply to their message with one of the most widely recognized gestures: a thumbs-up emoji.
The affirmative gesture that was originally meant to signal “OK” in certain cultures can mean anything but in digital communication. This reaction may be perceived as passive-aggressive, disinterested or sarcastic in a text, depending on how it’s used in an online conversation.
When singer Kelly Clarkson called out a New York City store that did not sell her an animatronic bird she wanted, she wrote on social media. “Sure, it wasn’t for sale. That’s the narrative Art of Play is gonna go with,” and added a thumbs-up emoji. In that case, the thumbs-up emoji did not suggest agreement with its intended recipient and that all was well.
Or consider the “IsThisUnprofessional” subreddit, where a confused co-worker declared that he thought the reaction meant “Got it, no notes, we’re good,” but his younger co-worker later told him his “bare thumbs up reads as cold, like the texting version of an eye roll.”
“Now I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve been low-key insulting people for years and nobody bothered to tell me,” the befuddled 35-year-old continued in his post.
One reason for this ongoing confusion may be generational differences between people who see a thumbs-up emoji as passive-aggressive and those who see it as an innocuous “liking” reaction built into platforms like Facebook and Instagram. One 2025 survey found that nearly 4 in 10 workers –– 38% –– use the “thumbs up” reaction to signal agreement, but a growing number of younger colleagues say it can feel dismissive or sarcastic.
“The thumbs up replaces a range of different ways we can respond in face-to-face conversation,” linguist Lauren Gawne, who ran research for that survey, told HuffPost. “You can nod or say something or just start doing something, but this all gets flattened into a single option that people bring their own meaning to.”
Etiquette problems often arise “when something’s unclear or when we assume something,” said Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and host of the “Were You Raised by Wolves?” podcast. “The thumbs-up emoji is a great example: It has different meanings to different people. And once we lack crystal clarity, this is where the trouble starts.”
“In a work setting, where efficiency is prized, a ‘thumbs up’ is likely just an acknowledgment,” Leighton said as an example. “But if your boss is known to be passive-aggressive in general, then your mileage may vary.”
Why The Thumbs-Up Emoji Can Feel So Hostile In A Text
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What makes the thumbs-up reaction even more ambiguous is when it’s presented without any more reassuring context. In a text, a one-word “OK” reply can feel hostile, because brief answers imply a lack of effort, linguistics experts say. This is also why answering only “sure” to your friend’s request for your time can make them feel unsure if you actually want to attend their party.
“This is especially true when the thumbs-up isn’t proportional to the message you’re responding to,” Leighton said. “If I just sent you a long heartfelt paragraph about my feelings, you’re going to have to do better than just give me a thumbs-up.”
Similarly, this is why using the “thumbs-up” tap-back emoji reaction that Apple provides iPhone users can create headaches. When your friend only provides a reaction that takes just a tap to share, it may also imply they barely read your message.
You can certainly lose your mind dissecting whether your colleague’s emoji reaction or your grandparent’s thumbs-up reaction was a personal attack, or you can assume the best intentions. Instead of agonizing over the meaning of your friend or boss’s thumbs-up emoji, try Leighton’s Zen approach:
“Rare is the person who’s genuinely going out of their way to be rude,” he said. “In the end, they’re just little pictures and it’s best to [not] read too much into them.”
