Former adult film actress Cindy Oshodi has opened up about her personal struggles and regrets, as she broke down in tears while reflecting on her life, strained relationships and dissatisfaction with her current circumstances.
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Cindy Oshodi says she regrets her past choices and wishes she had lived her life differently.
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The former adult film actress reveals her daughter is the only reason she has not taken her life.
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Cindy Oshodi speaks about loneliness, broken friendships and feeling like a shadow of herself.
The content creator expressed deep emotional distress over the choices she has made, describing herself as a shadow of the person she once was. She also lamented her difficulty forming genuine friendships and said she often feels empty and disconnected from those around her.
In a video shared online on November 2, 2026, Cindy reflected on some of the thoughts that cross her mind when she is alone at home. She admitted that she sometimes wishes she could go to sleep and never wake up again, as she expressed exhaustion with her life and regret over her past decisions.
“At this moment, the only thing I find myself wishing for is to be gone. I wish I could go to sleep and probably never wake up again because I’m tired. I just wish I had lived my life right.
“Nobody wants to be my friend. Even the ones I have are fake. I just feel like going. It’s not just easy for me to die. I don’t know what to do.”
Cindy further disclosed that her daughter remains the strongest reason she has not acted on her suicidal thoughts. She described the child as her primary responsibility and the one person whose presence keeps her grounded despite her emotional struggles.
“I’m just a shadow of myself now. I don’t think straight anymore. The only thing that keeps me going is when I think about this one thing: I remember my daughter. If not for that girl, I would have gone.”
The former adult film actress admitted that she wishes she had made different choices and could have lived a different life.
“I regret my life. I really do regret everything I’ve done with my life. I wish I wasn’t born. I wish I had not done those things. I just wish.”
She also suggested that she might not disclose her intentions to anyone if her emotional struggles reach a point where she feels unable to continue living.
“When the time comes that I want to take my life, I won’t tell anybody. I’ll just do it silently. But just know that if you don’t see me online anymore, I’m gone.
“Because it will get to a point, and I know what I’m saying, it will get to a point when I won’t be able to do this anymore. I’ll just end it.”
