About 70% of adults have had a sex dream at least once.
Sex dreams can be distressing, but what do they even mean?
Why do you have sex dreams?
In Africa, many people believe having sex in your dream is a spiritual problem and is symptomatic of having a spirit husband or wife that ties down one’s destiny, but is that really true?
Though there is little research on the neurological components of dreams, according to some theories, dreams assist us in processing and mapping memories, acting out possible scenarios, and helping us deal with stressful or painful situations. Some claim that dreams are a coping mechanism for stress. Sexual dreams can be a result of hormones, fantasies, or a desire for control or attention in one’s sexual life.
While scientific research doesn’t explore specific sex dreams, therapists and psychologists have theories about their meaning. Here are some theories:
Sex with a stranger
Dreaming about sex with a stranger or cheating on your partner may indicate healthy sexual arousal and a healthy libido. The “mystery lover dream” is not about sexual excitement or desire for an affair.
In dreams, a stranger could stand in for an unexplored, novel, thrilling, dangerous, or frightening side of who you are. While bad sex dreams with a stranger could mean avoiding taking chances and sticking closer to your comfort zone in life and sex, positive sex dreams with a stranger usually mean safe exploration.
Sex with an ex
Even if you are in a new relationship, it’s common to dream about your ex; it just means you are still dealing with the loss of the relationship.
Dreams about negative ex-partners can symbolise giving up freedom by going back to them, while dreams about positive ex-partners might just be you fantasising about the great sex you used to have with them.
Sex with your boss or co-worker
Dreams about your boss or co-worker can be related to power dynamics and personal desires for personal growth. The co-worker’s dream can be difficult to determine, as it depends on how it makes you feel.
Dreaming about sex with your boss could mean you feel weak and need more power and control over your life.
Dreaming about having sex with your coworker doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them. For example, if your dreaming co-worker is the one who cracks funny jokes, your subconscious might just like that and want you to incorporate it into your behavior. But if you like them a lot, it might mean you want to be intimate with them.